Well, today is President's Day and I'm sitting at home so I decided to write a little bit about one of the most important people in my life. Without her I wouldn't be here and thanks to her guidance and home-cooking I am the man I am today. Tomorrow is Mom's birthday (I won't mention which one) and in honor of that special day I present to you 10 Things I Learned from my Mother:
1. There is a magical number in this world, and it is 298. Any time you don't want someone to know an amount, be it the price of your house or how much you make in a year, all inquiries can be immediately dismissed with the answer: 298.
2. Liver and Onions WON'T kill you, but it sure makes a fellow feel pretty nasty for a couple of hours. I'll never understand how ANYONE can like the taste of LnO.
3. Always be on time. I don't think my mom has ever been late to anything, ever. How does she pull that off? She taught me to get there early no matter where you're going. If her and Dad tell us they'll be in Ft Worth at 3, we go ahead and set another couple of places at the LUNCH table because we know they'll turn up early.
4. You reap what you sow. Mom always said I was a cranky baby, but I never believed her. Now that Noah is here and he acts just like that, I guess I believe her.
5. Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck are viable candidates for ANY election. I don't think my mom has ever told me who she voted for in any election. If it were a race between JFK and a dead man, she still would tell me she voted for Mickey Mouse.
6. When that 3rd blank tile shows up in Scrabble, somebody has DEFINITELY been cheating. Ask mom to tell you this story sometime.
7. People love pineapple juice in their Kool-Aid. I've never met any of these people, but they must exist because why else would mom pollute a whole jug of Banana-Berry Falls with this stuff.
8. Babies eat ANYTHING. Mom says that I used to eat whole dinners pureed in the blender into a big mish-mash of home-cooked goodness. I used to think that sounded gross, but now that I'm older, wiser, and lazier, I think that sounds like a great way to save energy.
9. Kids learn how to spell "tired" a lot faster if you say, "I think Myra is a T-I-R-E-D girl!"
10. Be nice to your mom because when nobody else is around, she's always there for you.
Happy Birthday Mom! We love ya!